Do You Know What They Want?

I have lots of people in my life who are facing some very challenging times. Our natural instinct as humans is to try to help them with advice.

But people don't always need advice . Sometimes all they really need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand them.

So how do we know what they need? One of the biggest mistakes is to guess. Instead we are best off pausing from our initial reaction to give advice, and instead ask them what they need. There is nothing wrong with asking “do you just want me to listen, or do you want advice?” If someone wants you to listen, then you listen. If someone asks for advice, then, of course, that opens the door to your insight as someone who knows this person. Just ask so that you can provide the kind of support they need at that moment.

This Week's Focus:

This week, hold back on immediately offering advice to someone struggling. Ask first if they need a listening ear or advice.