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Do You Should On Yourself?

Ever find yourself or hear someone else saying "I should have done ___?" It's quite common ... just stop and listen.

The unfortunate thing is that it creates a lot of pressure on yourself to do or be something, based on what you think you are supposed to do, rather than on who you are or what you want. We end up using the word "should" in place of more powerful phrases like “I want,” “I can,” and “I will.”

Rarely do we say “I should” about stuff we feel completely aligned with, so it helps to let the word be a red flag indicating where you’ve internalized something that doesn’t quite feel right to you.

For example, if I say “I should call Abigail,” the odds are pretty good that if I really felt strongly about calling her, I would say “I’m going to call Abigail today.” The use of the word "should" instead indicates some reluctance or pressure I feel about calling Abigail.

If I use my "should" as a red flag and get curious about why I am really hesitant to call, I learn it is because I am really nervous about making this call about a sensitive and difficult situation. Once I realize that and how meaningful the call would be, I am more confident.


This Week's Focus:

This week, listen for your "shoulds," and make them red flags to take a few minutes to allow them to guide you deeper into your hesitancy.

Click on the serenity sticky to print, cut and post on your bathroom mirror to remind you of this week's focus. Good luck!

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