Is Anyone Watching You?

I've been watching some friends face the challenge of having to judge a person's suitability as they meet different men they have matched up with on dating applications.

It is a challenging situation as we all fall into the trap of judging a person’s personality and appearance. But if we are looking at a person for an important role in our lives, we really want to understand their character which is based on their beliefs, e.g. whether honesty and treating others well is important—or not.

We unconsciously tend to connect personality to character. If someone is outgoing, confident, and fun, we're more likely to think they're honest, moral, and kind. But the two are not necessarily connected. Character is essentially buried until a moral choice brings it to the surface. That is why former UCLA Basketball Coach John Wooden said: “The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.” So how do we determine a person's true character? Observe to see if they perform any acts of kindness. Is anger a frequent occurrence with them? Do they take responsibility for their own mistakes or blame others? Do they show any empathy towards the less fortunate members of our society?

This Week's Focus:

This week, work on noticing the difference between personality and character when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong relationships.